Self-inflicted madness

I had something like an epiphany last night. Jay called to tell me he had to make a few stops before heading home after teaching guitar lessons, which would mean he'd arrive sometime after 7pm. Dinner is traditionally served by 6:30pm at our house; any later, and my daughter starts with the face-meltingly irritating whining, and I start to consider selling her to a roving band of gypsies. So, I was less than pleased when Jay said he'd be late. You might say I was pissed. However, his errands were completely legitimate-- in fact, one was for me-- and it was really stupid, as well as pointless, for me to be angry. So I decided to continue with my dinner prep and Natalie and I would eat when it was done. He could warm it up when he got home. It was like I flipped a switch in my brain... I could be angry and snippy and passive aggressive while we all ate together, or I could have a pleasant, hot meal with Nan, and he could have his food later. Duh. I still feel very strongly about our family eating together, and we will eat most meals together, but I'm tired of making myself crazy to make it happen EVERY DAY. It was incredibly liberating. So, I happily prepared risotto and foil packets with tuna steaks and veggies. (A sidenote-- this is my new favorite way to fix any kind of fish and even chicken. It's competely mess-free, and so fun to come up with different veggie-spice-herb combos. And did I mention mess-free? Wad up the foil and throw it away, and the dishes are done. Awesome. ) (A sidenote to the sidenote-- did I say it was fun to come up with veggie combos? I am officially old and lame. Literally and figuratively.) It turned out that he showed up just as I was getting the plates out to serve dinner, so all was well in the end, but the fact that I was fully prepared to eat without him made all the difference in my attitude toward him. The crazy thing is that he would not have ever had a problem eating after we did-- it was entirely something I put on myself. I don't know if he noticed that my mood was better than it was during the initial phone call, but I know I did. It was a happier evening than the previous one, because I decided to make it so. And, we managed to take a walk without my daughter bleeding HER OWN BLOOD, which was just icing on the cake.