I have pneumonia, which means I will not be able to go with my dear friend Elizabeth to see David Sedaris speak tomorrow evening. I am heartbroken on several levels. It's been months since I've done anything FUN. Literally. Months. Two. I'm tired of sick. I'm tired of, well, tired. I'm hoping April will be better than the suckhole that was March. The good news is that Nan's allergy panel came back negative-- nothing to worry about there. And she's definitely on the mend, with just the occasional cough. It's starting to warm up outside. Maybe that will usher the funk out of my house.

Yesterday morning was one of the longest mornings of my life. I had to take my baby to the hospital to have blood drawn and her chest x-rayed. The doctor believes her asthma is allergy related, and she wants to do the full allergy workup. Sounds simple in theory, but the hospital was crazy. It took us 45 minutes to register, and another 30 minutes of waiting for the chest x-ray. She was a champ, smiling for the "camera" while the technician took pics of her lungs. Then, we waited for over an hour for the dreaded blood draw. Nan played in the lobby, not understanding what awaited her. This was almost as painful as what was to come-- she got bored and antsy, and couldn't stop herself from touching the light installation that looked like a fountain. She ran from me when I called her, and raged at me when I dragged her back to our bench. The receptionist eventually took pity on me, and offered her a coloring book and crayons. This kept her busy for the last part of our wait. They finally called our name, and led us back to the "child friendly" draw site. There was a very nice phlebotomist awaiting us, and she immediately turned on the Curious George movie-- one of Nanny's favorites. Natalie wandered around the room, looking at the funny-looking benches, and chatting with the phlebotomist. Finally, the lady told us to sit on the bench-- I was instructed to sit on her right side, and hug her to me, effectively keeping her right arm trapped against her side. Nan cuddled against me, and listened as the phlebotomist explained what she was doing. She was fine until the needle actually went in her arm. There was a silence as Nan sucked in all the air in the room, and then she screamed, "OW, OW, OWWWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And the sobbing commenced. She wiggled, and tried to slide off the bench. I rocked her and tried not to cry myself. They had to take THREE VIALS of my baby's blood-- the needle looked ENORMOUS in her tiny arm. When it was finally finished, she wept as the nurse put the bandaid on her arm, and she cried all the way down the hall. Grandpa had slipped me a ten the night before, telling me to buy her something at the giftshop after the tests were completed. Through her tears, she chose a little black and white stuffed kitty, and snuffled out to the car. Minutes after we left the hospital parking lot, she was passed out cold in the back seat, clutching her teddy and her new kitty. I'd promised McDonald's for lunch as the lady took her blood, so I swung through the drive-thru and got her a happy meal. She woke up crying, and ate her fries as she wept. She was ready for her nap after a few fries, and she slept like a rock. The doctor's office called in the afternoon, and told me that her lungs looked "streaky", indicating the croup. The doctor called in a steroid, and we're hoping the nonstop coughing will come to an end someday soon.

Nan has another double ear infection, and the doctor thinks she's hit upon the reason for Natalie's persistent cough. She thinks it's asthma. We've got to start twice-daily inhaler treatments. They gave us a nifty new inhaler-- it's got a mask that looks like a duck, and she's very impressed by that. I explained that the duck is her new friend, and she needs to give him a BIG kiss twice a day. We practiced without the medicine, and I think she's going to be okay. This is the good part. On Monday, I've got to take her for a chest x-ray and full blood workup. This is the bad part. She hasn't had blood drawn since she was born. I get teary thinking about the needle approaching my baby. Hopefully, we'll get these relatively minor issues resolved, and the coughing will stop. The doctor noted that Natalie's had five ear infections since October-- if she gets another one in the next month or so, she'll be referred to the ENT. Do tubes loom in the future? One more worry in my busy brain. At any rate, I'm hoping the inhaler will help the coughing, which will curtail the midnight visits to mommy. Nothing more disconcerting than to be groping your way back to bed after a night-time bathroom visit only to hear, "HI, MOMMY!" coming from the vicinity of your bedroom door. Scared me to death. The next night, I was a little more prepared for my nocturnal guest, and managed to head her off at the door. She was burning up, so I gave her more tylenol and sent her back to bed. Let's hope she sleeps through the night tonight-- I'm very, very tired.

The spring-like weather has ushered in a new attitude at our house. We're all a little perkier now that we can spend some time outdoors. Nan and I spent the morning at the playground, and even had a little picnic (or picpic, as Natalie calls it) there. She had a ball, running around with the herd of kids and climbing like a monkey. She was braver than she was in the fall-- she went down the crazy curly tube slides that she categorically refused to approach before. She was exhausted after our busy morning, and she took a great nap, and woke up peppy and ready to play. Jay's had a brief reprieve from his insane contest schedule, and he's been home for dinner and bath and bedtime for the last few days. Things are feeling a little more managable than they have been.

After nap today, we went to the grocery store. We had an uneventful trip, and on our way home Nan asked me to tell her about when she was little. We discussed the usual-- you couldn't talk, you had no teeth, couldn't walk, etc.-- and then she said, "Okay, Mommy, I'll tell you about YOU when YOU were little!" Apparently I flew a princess kite and laughed and laughed. And I was too small to ride a bike, and my bike is broken, and Handy Manny will fix it! We must call him!
Such a loon.

I burned the crap out of finger today. I was making myself a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, and I became obsessed with centering the cheese perfectly on the bread. In my quest for the ideal bread/cheese ratio, I rested my knuckle on the edge of the smokin' hot pan. Not my best moment. Now I'm nursing a blister, and eating a burnt sandwich-- the blister tending made me neglect my sandwich. I feel this is sort of how I'm living these days. Things are neglected. Mostly me. Here's hoping things will settle down soon, so I don't end up like my blackened sandwich.

It's been long week. Or rather, last week was a long week, and this one isn't shaping up to be much better. I'd like to petition that we skip March next year-- it blows. On top of the usual March issues-- show choir competitions taking my husband away from home every weekend, not to mention the frequent evening practices throughout the week-- our household has been hit with the plague. Jay brought it home first-- and, of course, it was THE END OF THE WORLD. He was sick and miserable, and made the rest of us miserable with the neverending whining. Then, Natalie started looking peaked. Her eyes were runny, as was her nose, and she was coughing. My sinuses started filling, and it was all over. Nan stayed home from school on Friday so I could take her to the doctor, where we learned she had a double ear infection, and her eyes were infected, too. Antibiotics and EYE DROPS were in order. (An aside re. the eye drops... I believe the doctor who prescribes the eye drops should have to actually come to our house and put the damned things into the child's eyes herself... it's next to impossible. Like wrestling a greased chinchilla.) I finally gave in the next day and called on grandma to watch the kid while I waited forever at the medcheck so I could get antibiotics at last. Grandma kindly agreed to stay on after I got home so I could catch a quick nap. Today, my mom called telling us not to come over for her birthday dinner, as she's got the flu. Sooo... it was probably incubating when she was here on Saturday... I'm crossing my fingers that we dodge that bullet. Bottom line, I'm sick and tired of being, well, sick and tired. My patience is nearly nonexistant. I shouted at Natalie after she requested a third change of shoes this morning, trying to stave off leaving the house. I'm eagerly awaiting school on Wednesday, and I think she is, too.
We were discussing where various animals live while we drove home from the store today (as we do-- don't you?), and she told me cows and horses live in barns, pig live in "pig mud", dolphins live in the ocean, fish in the water, and zebras live in the country. Hee. That's why I keep her around.