I have officially entered the fabulous world of unemployment. Yes, I haven't "worked" since the end of October, but now... I am no longer being PAID. Severance is done. I've filled out all the appropriate paperwork to receive unemployment benefits, and hopefully everything will kick in before the end of the month. I'm enjoying the classes I'm taking, and I look forward to actual employment again. Kind of. I'm also really enjoying the feeling that, for the first time, I'm on top of things. Our laundry is caught up. There are groceries in the pantry. Natalie and I get where we need to be ON TIME, and we have fun playing together. I'm not constantly looking at my watch, thinking I should get back to work. We're moving in three-year-old time. It's awesome. I'm able to enjoy my free time while she's at school-- I meet friends for breakfast, get my haircut, grocery shop without the kid. I've gotten a taste of stay-at-home momdom, and it's nice. But. I've done it with the safety net of my severance. As I look at our finances and look at our drastically reduced income, even with the unemployment, I feel anxious. We're making enough to make our regular bills, but what about emergencies? Like the leak in our slab ($1000), or car trouble? Not to mention the little luxuries to which we've become accustomed-- regular coffee stops, regular dinners out, little treats for Natalie when the mood strikes. I know that I'm working toward something better-- when I've completed my training, I'll be qualified for higher-paying jobs, and we'll be as financially comfortable as before. But I'll miss these quiet days with my girl, and the moments I get to myself. Even as I write this, I realize this is ridiculous in light of the trouble that so many families are facing-- it could be a lot worse for us. And I know a year from now, everything will be different. Hopefully, I'll look back at this and shake my head at my hand-wringing melodrama.
Speaking of melodrama, my girl has been particularly hilarious of late. She's a funny mix of so adorably funny I want to hug her, and so defiant and stubborn I want to strangle her. Three has been interesting. There have been more time-outs in the last few weeks than there were in the last six months. But, there have also been funny, interesting conversations. Jay and I have decided that she knows how far she can push it-- she senses when we're about to pick up the phone to summon the gypsies to take her away, and she flips the switch back to charming. She was jumping off the couch onto a nest of pillows yesterday, and when I cautioned her to be careful, she flapped a hand at me and said, "No worries, Mommy. No worries." My new mantra.